Thursday, July 12, 2007

LOVE: THE GREATEST OF THESE (Part 2)

On July 22, God willing, we will celebrate six years of marriage. As in years past, I reflect on where we’ve come and how we’ve grown. Although it seems like a long time to me, I’m still humbled by the fragility of this particular institution and don’t take for granted each year we’re together. Thanks to numerous journals I’ve kept over the years, I’m reminded of our incredible journey—good and bad.

The apostle Paul learned through his own life struggles to be content in times of plenty and in times of want. I too, am still learning to do the same—to be content when there’s lots of love flowing between us, and when our love tanks are running on fumes. Through the good times, I’m keenly aware that at any minute we could be at odds or worst yet, at war. Recently, I’ve come to the realization that most conflicts can be traced back to the issue of love or lack thereof. Put another way most conflicts stem from feelings of rejection on some level or another.
With our willingness, we can learn to love or get the help we need, to overcome the obstacles that prevent love from flowing freely in our relationships.


Public Service Announcement: KEEP LOVE ALIVE

One of the best things you can do for love is nurture it. Like your car or your body, routine maintenance and regular checkups are beneficial for preventing breakdown. Attend a relationship workshop yearly, meet with other couples on a regular basis and schedule time together to discuss tough issues. Make your relationship a priority and you’ll see its health
improve.

CAUTION!PRACTICE AT YOUR OWN RISK :)

The following was inspired during our Anniversary trip to Niagara Falls last year. The result is a beautiful baby girl.


THE LOVE CHAPTER: KEY ELEMENTS OF INTIMACY
(Artistic Interpretation of 1 Corinthians 13)

What if we applied 1 Corinthians 13 to the Marriage Bed? We quote the verses at
our weddings and apply the principles to our daily interactions, but what if we
applied the following principles to the area of our relationship where God is
the furthest thing from our minds?

Be Patient – Take the time to enjoy each other. Savor each moment. Use your five senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight to enhance the experience. (See Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 4:11; 6:4 and 7:7-9)

Be Kind – Compliment profusely. Now is not the time to take note of, or verbalize physical imperfections. Be thoughtful in what you say. (See Song of Solomon
4:1-7; 5:10-16 and 7:1-5)

Envy Not – Be content and comfortable with who you are and the person to whom you're married. Don’t wish that you or your mate looked the way you or they did in college or envy what you think someone else must be enjoying. (See Song of Solomon 8:6; 7:10; 6:3 and 2:16)

Brag Not – Leave your past in the past. If you didn’t enter this marriage as a virgin or this isn’t your first marriage, don’t brag about the women's worlds you rocked or the men you brought to tears.

Puff Not – Allow room for growth and change. Don’t presume to know it all and
don’t assume that your mate likes what you like.

Don’t Be Rude – Respect each other’s temples and individuality. If your mate does not feel comfortable with something, don’t force him/her.

Don’t Be Selfish – Put each other’s needs first and you’ll both be satisfied. There’s no room for self-gratification in this arena.

Don’t Be Easily Provoked – Make room for mistakes and extend a little grace. Whether due to exhaustion, lack of knowledge or memory loss, your mate will not always please you. It’s ok! There’s always tomorrow.

Keep No Record Of Wrongs - Enjoy the here and now. Don’t rehash yesterday’s offense or the last time you had to extend grace while intimate.

Think No Evil – The songs “It’s Morning” and “Me and Mrs. Jones,” glorify adultery. Be honest in your heart w/God and your spouse, so that you come together with a clear conscience. (See Song of Solomon 3:1-5)


When you were a child, you played childish games. Leave the games
out. Don’t toy with each other’s emotions. If your mate hurts you,
don’t pout and threaten to take your good loving elsewhere. This union is
supposed to bring both of you face-to-face w/each other’s excellent qualities
and dark imperfections. No one knows you like your spouse. Have
faith in each other; Hope for the best in your marriage and let love win
out. (Song of Solomon 8:7)


Copyright 2006 Leuanna Matheson

SUGGESTED READING LIST

Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide To Resolving Conflict Without Arguing – Gary Chapman
To read about or purchase this book, check the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Wins-Chapman-Conflicts-Marriage/dp/141430014X


Boundaries Face To Face: How To Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
To read about or purchase this book, check the link: http://store.cloudtownsendstore.com/bofatofabo.html


For men only A Straight-forward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women – Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

Rescue Your Love Life: Changing Those Dumb Attitudes & Behaviors that Will Sink Your Marriage – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
To read about or purchase this book, check the link:
http://store.cloudtownsendstore.com/reyololi.html


ANNOUNCEMENTS

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Leu,

I needed to read these words tonight. Not so much the "in bed" view of 1 Cor 13, but the words you wrote regarding your 6 years of marriage and the words at the end of the "in bed" 1 Cor 13.

Thanks,

O