Friday, May 4, 2007

SINGLENESS OF HEART

Before I started dating, I thought that I was the perfect christian. In fact, I though that I was ready for translation. My time was spent between service-oriented church activities, work and spending time with loved ones. My biggest sin, as I viewed it, was procrastination. One could hardly think that I'd miss out on heaven for such a minor imperfection.

As I reflect on my life now and then, there was much more sin in my life than I realized. There was much more that I could have done to spread the gospel. I judged my life based on what I wasn't doing. Today I realize that a fruitful single life or Christian life for that matter is more about what you're doing, not about what you're not doing. We feel good saying, "I don't drink"; "I don't smoke"; "I don't use drugs"; "I don't....". The real question should be, "what am I doing for Christ?

I look back at my life and long for the time I had to myself to do as I pleased. I regret the time I spent in college making a fool of myself. Oh how I wish I could have shared with my friends and acquaintances about the love of Jesus. Paul was on it when he said that the married woman's heart will be divided between God and her husband. 1 Cor. 7: 25,26 states,

"Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married.
I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has
given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of
the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are
." (NLT)


I can't say that to too many of my single friends because they think that I'm trying to keep them from the greatest thing on earth (marriage) or that I'm patronizing them in their singleness. But, I doubt that I could find five married women who would disagree with me that the apostle Paul was absolutely right.

This Month's Blog is dedicated to the singles who are the happiest people in the world according to many surveys and polls. Enjoy this time that you have to be "free to do what I want."


Single in Relationships--Rules to live



Don't date because you are desperate
Don't marry because you are miserable
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough to handle the consequences
Don't regress
Don't put your life on hold for Mr/Mrs.Right
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr/Mrs. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking


Single-minded toward's God

One of the greatest barriers to a fruitful relationship with God is misunderstanding of who He is. Many of us have gotten a distorted view of God based on the relationship with an important male figure in our lives -- our fathers. Chances are, whatever the relationship was between you and your earthly father, is the way you'll view your relationship with your heavenly father. If your earthly father was aloof, you'll see God as being aloof and hesitate to go to him in a crisis. If you father was your greatest cheerleader and champion, you'll see God as being your strength in the time of storm and be assured that there's nothing that you can't accomplish.


The Passenger seminar takes you on a journey of self- discovery that looks
at attachment styles and how they develop from our time in mothers womb and
forward. The Passenger seminar and small group follow up will give you an
understanding of how your beginnings and early attachments impact your life
today. Gender specific small groups are the key to unlocking the mysteries of
the past and opening the door to the promise of a brighter future. This is an
introspective and participatory part of your journey toward recovery and healthy
relationships. The small group workbook includes ten weekly lessons PLUS ten
chapters of educational material. This is the tool that you will use weekly as
you discover and come to a deeper understanding of self. FMI check out the website or attend an upcoming seminar at http://www.yourlri.com/


Single after Divorce

It breaks my heart when I hear of another couple separating or divorcing. I am deeply affected by it, especially if it's friends of mine or even people I'm mildly acquinted with. What makes two people so bright-eyed for each other one day and months or years later they can't stand to breath the same air.

From countless conversations, I venture to say that many of the conflicts stem from lack of knowledge. Not lack of knowledge about marriage, but lack of knowledge about oneself. That 's why I push so hard for the Journey Program by Life Renewal Institute. Were it not for the information I learned about myself, I may have gone down that road two years ago or worse yet, ended my life. I was so miserable. I even realized that my husband wasn't the source of my problems, it was my incapacity to cope with conflict and issues that arose in my life. I sought far and wide for a good counselor, someone to tell me what was wrong with me. Eventually I found out. As a matter of fact, I'm still finding out things about myself, but now I have to tools to deal with it. Of course none of this would be of any any value without the Holy Spirt's daily guidance.

Along with my open mind and people in my life that hold me accountable, my greatest source of counseling come from:

Jehovah Shalom (The Lord is Peace) - Judges 6:24

Jesus (The Prince of Peace, Counselor) - Isaiah 9:6

The Holy Spirit (Comforter or Helper) - John 14:16

& (Spirit of Truth) - John 14:17

Single after Death

According to 1 Cor. 7:39, 40 ...but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide...

Single in Parenting

To you, there’s nothing but commendation and admiration. You’ve taken on the task of two people—Homemaker and Breadwinner. Stay strong and motivated! Band together with other single parents and support each other. Be accountable to each other. Rely upon each other for childcare and free time. Align yourselves with an older couple to mentor you and tap into the valuable resource called grandparents.

Whether by choice or circumstance, you’ve stepped up and taken the responsibility for nurturing your precious offspring. You’re loved and recognized as a valuable part of our community—not to be neglected or taken for granted.

2 comments:

Preacher Lady said...

Greetings, my sister and friend. I very much enjoy reading your blog page, and I am in agreement that single women (and men) must give careful thought before taking the serious step of marriage. Marriage does not solve problems--it should be a beginning. Marriage takes a lot of work, and when you add children to the mix, the work is quadrupled. Having a like-minded mate is a blessing, but it still will not guarantee a marriage that is free of problems. The difference is that hopefully the husband and wife can discuss their differences of opinion in an orderly manner, with love, and present their problems to the Lord for a solution that will benefit both. Have a blessed day, and keep up the great work with your page.

Preacher Lady

Anonymous said...

One thing I have learned during the years is that if you are not happy with yourself, you won't be happy with anyone else. Too often we look to others (mainly a significant other) to validate us or make us feel loved or important. Learning who we are as individuals in Christ is SO important in the Christian marriage. By finding our identification in Christ, it frees us up emotionally to be whom God has created us to be while also releasing our spouse from the pressure of mind reading. Two individuals whom are complete in Christ can ultimately be complete in each other...

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