During the course of our lives, we come in contact with many people. Some are nice to us and treat us with love and kindness, while others are mean and treat us very badly. The impact of people's treatment of us can affect our lives in different ways. They may influence us for a little while or for a lifetime. Obviously, if the treatment you received was good, you'll have fond memories of that person and want to continue in relationship with them, if possible. You'd think that the opposite would be true for someone who has treated you badly. Interestingly enough, as in the case of parents who abuse their children, the child may take the blame for the abuse and put that parent on a pedestal. [Read articles in PDF format about child brain development by Dr. Bruce Perry at: http://www.childtrauma.org/updates/ct_updates.asp]
For the the child who does have a desire to leave, he/she feels trapped in that abusive home and must endure the abuse until the opportunity presents itself for escape.
The sad reality is that abuse takes place in many homes. I won't even bother to quote any statistics becasue they's be incorrect. Abuse is not something the victim discloses easily. Because of sin and the devil's desire to destroy mankind from young, know that abuse is more widespread than you think.
This month's blog takes a glimpse on one area of abuse, verbal (emotional). You'll find information, resources and encouragement from the Word of God. Take a look at your own life. If you're a victim or have been and never healed, get help. If you're the abuser, STOP and get help! Break the cycles of unhealthy and unholy way of relating to each other. While you're going through recovery and pursuing a healthier and holier way, don't neglect to give God the glory and claim the victory through Jesus Christ. Thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).
VERBAL ABUSE
The Evils of Angry, Hasty Words. --When you speak angry words to your children, you are helping the cause of the enemy of all righteousness. Let every child have a fair chance from babyhood up. The work of teaching should begin in childhood, not accompanied by harshness and fretting, but in kindness and patience; and this instruction should be continued through all their years to manhood and womanhood.
Let every family seek the Lord in earnest prayer for help to do the work of God. Let them overcome the habits of hasty speech and the desire to blame others. Let them study to be kind and courteous in the home, to form habits of thoughtfulness and care.
What harm is wrought in the family circle by the utterance of impatient words, for the impatient utterance of one leads another to retort in the same spirit and manner. Then come words of retaliation, words of self-justification, and it is by such words that a heavy, galling yoke is manufactured for your neck; for all these bitter words will come back in a baleful harvest to your soul.
Hard words beat upon the heart through the ear, awakening to life the worst passions of the soul and tempting men and women to break God's commandments . . . . Words are as seeds which are planted. [The Adventist Home, Ellen G. White, Pg. 438-439; Review and Herald Publishing)
[Read more at http://www.nisbett.com/reference/ah/ah71.htm]
Guidelines for Healthy Communication
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 5:19-21 - Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Psalms 19:14 - May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Proverbs 15:23 - A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!
Isaiah 50:4a - The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary...
Matthew 12:36 - But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment
James 3:2, 8-10 - We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check... but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
Here is a wonderful website that gives guidance on healthy ways of communicating, especially with children:
http://www.restoration-international.org/article.php?id=18
